Diary Entry - September 22, 2006

Well, here we go. Adulting. Dumb phrase and I still love it. I've got a room in a motel that's seen better days and enough ramen to last me through the next Ice Age. Trust me, it’s a butt load of ramen. I keep staring at my stuff, all neatly packed up in some cardboard, and I keep thinking...what the fuck am I supposed to do now?

I turned 18 today. 18. I should be out partying, not sitting in a musty room all alone trying to figure out next week's meal plan. But you know, it's not like I didn't see this coming. It's not like I'm surprised. And I get it, Susan’s place is more like a halfway house for people like me; she wasn't gonna keep me around forever. She did scrape up a week's rent and bring me to this place. It's not much, but hell, it's a start.

And you know what? It's not all doom 'n gloom. I got a present today, from GUTHRIE OF ALL PEOPLE. He brought it over, smirking so hard I thought his face might crack. It's his old laptop. He’s got a shiny new one because of his fancy scholarship. But for me? He brought me his. He said that now not even distance can keep us from harassing eachother. Sappy, I know, but I think it was sweet. 

It's kind of comforting to know that someone cares, especially when life feels like one big dumpster fire. Fuck, I feel like I'm pulling off a band-aid. My stomach’s in knots because everything is changing so fast. This is what I wanted, right? Makes me wonder why I’ve got cold feet all of a sudden.

That's all for now, Diary. I have a date with some hot noodlez and a new laptop.